


By the Sulfur and the Sea

by melodramatic



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Josh is a merman, Lots of ukulele playing, M/M, Smut, Tyler is very lonely, attempted suicide, merman au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-12 10:01:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10488261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melodramatic/pseuds/melodramatic
Summary: A very lonely boy sat on the edge of a dock, and spoke to the fish that gathered at his feet.In all of his years under the sea, Josh had never seen anything like it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a side note: This story takes place in California, so there might be some Californian slang thrown in occasionally.

There wasn't a hatred in the world quite like Josh Dun's.

Because his hate started with a flame and hasn't ended since - if anything, it only grew with time. 

There were times that Josh would wade in the water, right below the surface, and wait for a human to make the simple mistake of swimming out too far. Josh would bite them at the ankle, and drag them down, all the way to the floor of the ocean and if they hadn't stopped breathing by then, their bodies would be so crushed by the pressure that they wouldn't be able to move. 

Sometimes, when Josh was bright red, he'd simply tear them apart until their identity was no longer distinguishable, and let them float back up to the surface to be found by a coast gaurd. 

Sometimes, though, when Josh was dark red, he'd keep a few of their limbs for himself - to eat or not to eat.

Either way, he felt no remorse. Because every human was a bad human and he had learned that lesson early on in his life. The lesson dawned on him as he watched his parents get their tails caught in a net and taken by curious sailors. Josh had never seen them again.

And sometimes, when Josh was grey (when Josh was hopeless), he watched the humans swim around on the surface, and he didn't touch them. And it was in those moments that he tried to appreciate life. 

And it was in those moments that he didn't want to be red. 

It would only take a day or two for him to become a shade of red again, and then he was back to taking the human race down, one by one. 

There was one day, though, when the clouds above the surface were dark, and no one was out swimming. So Josh went by the pier, and searched for feet that lingered in the water for just a bit too long. 

And on this day, Josh's hair was red: a red that he desperately clinged to, trying not to let himself turn grey. 

There was a pair of feet dangling from the edge of the pier, but they were surrounded by other small fish. The fish appeared to be listening to the human attached to the feet, and Josh would be lying if he said he wasn't a tiny bit curious as to what they were listening to. 

He swam up behind the fish, deep enough so that if the human was looking into the water, he wouldn't be able to see Josh. 

Josh was still as he looked up at the feet. They swung back and forth, and from the distance, Josh thought he could make out a small, oddly shaped item in his hands. He strummed it with his thumb, and then paused. Then his fingers continued, but in a more rythmic fashion. 

Josh moved closer to the surface. The barrier between the boy and Josh blocked the sound. Josh swam back down and went around so that he was directly beneath where the boy was sitting. He then raised himself up so that the top half of his head, including his ears, was poking out of the water. 

The boy strummed a simple tune.

"Can you wash me?" He sang quietly, "Can you drown me?" 

He then sighed and stopped strumming. 

"Are you listening to me?" He asked suddenly. 

The voice was creaky and almost sounded worn out, but Josh's demeanor became yellow with embarrassment. He looked up through the cracks in the wood - there was no way the boy would be able to see him from down here. 

Another strum, "Do you like what you hear?"

Silence.

"Probably not, but I'll play another one anyway. There has to be some reason you're all gathered around my feet."

Josh sighed, his hair now turning a comfortable shade of blue. The boy was talking to the fish. Okay.

The boy continued playing his instrument, and began to sing another tune that Josh had not ever heard before, but it was... pleasant. Despite how much Josh didn't want to admit so.

Josh lost track of time, and then suddenly the boy was standing up with a grunt. 

He gripped his instrument tightly in his hands, and from this angle, Josh could see that he was relatively young. Which was odd, because by the words he sang, and the extensive vocabulary he used, Josh would've guessed he was much older. Nevertheless, the boy turned towards the ocean.

"Well, I'm off, little fish. I might be back tomorrow. I hope you liked listening," He said. The fish had gone now, and for all he knew he was talking only to the water. But he didn't seem to mind. 

He walked away slowly and with a limp, almost as if the simple action was painful. Josh thought back to when he had seen other humans walk, and he vaguely wondered if they all looked like that.

He continued to watch the boy walk from beneath the pier, and before he knew it the boy was long gone. The red had faded from him long ago, and he was painted a light shade of blue that he almost never was. 

He let himself wade on the surface for a few minutes before he dunked his head and headed back down. The swim down took him almost half an hour, and the entire time he thought of the boy's songs, his voice, and his legs. No matter how many lives he took, he was always fascinated (albiet, slightly jealous) by legs. They just seemed so much more versatile than fins. 

He entered his home that day, and found himself to not be hungry enough for dinner. So he went right to bed, and he did not dare to dream.

....

The boy was there the next day. Josh went by the same end of the pier he had sat on last time, and waited for the boy to come again. It might've been one hour, it might've been three, but either way the boy sat down, with his legs dangling off of the edge, and he had the same small instrument in his hands. 

This time he was barefoot, though, and Josh moved as quietly as he could, trying to get a better look at the feet. When he was close enough, he could see there was a large, deep scar on the inside of the boy's right ankle, and it ran all the way up the inside of his leg. From what Josh could see, anyway. The boy was wearing jeans, so he could only assume it kept going. 

"I'm going to sing for you guys again, today," He declared aloud. 

There were no fish in the water. Josh began to wonder if the boy was okay.

He strummed the strings to his instrument and began to sing. It was quiet, as if he didn't expect anyone else to actually listen. It was melodic, though. The lyrics made Josh's heart feel burdened, but it was sang so well he didn't want to stop listening. 

The boy cut off the song mid-way.

Josh looked up, between the cracks of the pier and watched the boy simply stare out into the open ocean. He didn't say anything, his fingers didn't move, and his throat didn't sing. 

He looked up to where a cliff overlooked the ocean, and then looked back down at his feet that were still swaying.

Josh listened carefully as the man took in a deep breath.

"Hypocrite," He whisper-sang, "Take your pick. 'Cause the poisions on my lips..."

He still did not strum his instrument. But he held it close as he sang to himself. His feet were no longer swaying, and it bothered Josh for some odd reason. 

Josh couldn't help the faded green (the faded concern) that his hair had become. 

Josh looked back down at the boy's feet. He wondered what happened to the right foot, that it had been mutilated like that. He was sure if he had feet, he would take good care of them - clearly unlike this boy that sat on the pier. 

But no - he did not let himself think of such things. 

The boy looked into the water. He repositioned himself so that he was on his knees, and he leaned over the edge of the pier so that he was looking directly into the water. 

He sighed, and when he saw no fish, he sat back up in his regular, feet-dangling position.

"Well," He said, strumming the instrument again, "This one's for the sky, then, I guess."

Josh listened, but part of him wished he didn't. The lyrics were similar to the song he had sung the day before, except it was to a different tune. The words were about death, God, and the lack of the ability to live for oneself. 

He finished the entire song, and looked back down at the water. There were three fish now. 

The boy looked up at the cliff that was high above the water, and then back down at the fish.

"I'm going to go up to that cliff," He said to the fish that simply blinked at him, "And then I'll never be able to play for you guys again. It's okay, though. You won't miss me."

He strummed a random chord and then mumbled to himself, "No one will."

Josh looked up to the cliff. The same cliff he had been near his entire life. He had seen people in swimsuits dive off and laugh at their other friends who were too afraid to jump, so they climbed down the side. But he had never seen someone jump from the cliff with no intention of swimming back up to the surface. 

It put a chill in Josh's bones. He couldn't let this boy do this to himself. 

"Y'know," He said suddenly, "My friend told me that there are different types of mermen, and mermaids in the water. Is that true?" 

The fish blinked. One of them swam away at the lack of music.

"Hm," The boy hummed to himself, "Well if there are any mer-creatures out there and listening to me, I know all about you guys. You can't hide from me." His tone was almost playful, but there was something cynical hidden beneath his words. 

Josh became yellow once again. He wondered how the boy would react if he knew one of the creatures he spoke of was right beneath him, listening to every word he spoke. 

He started to strum again, but this time there were no words. Simply chords that came together rather perfectly. Josh's heart slowly sank further and further down into his stomach, and the melody made his intestines go cold.

Suddenly, a face popped up right next to Josh, startling him. 

"Josh, I thought that was you!"

Josh quickly placed his hand over the man's mouth and dragged him deep down into the water before the human heard. 

"Tom!" Josh scolded, when they were deep enough, "You could've blown my cover!"

Tom scoffed, "Cover? What cover?"

Josh put his face in his hands. He had known Tom from back when they went to school together, and they still lived in the same neighborhood so it wasn't a very rare occasion when they bumped into each other. Josh liked going to school with him - he was funny, really popular, and always knew how to cheer Josh up when he was in a bad mood. That didn't necessarily mean he was the smartest merman of the bunch, though.

"I was... watching. The human that was sitting on the pier."

Tom looked up, even though they were too far down to see past the surface. 

"Watching a human? C'mon, you know we're not supposed to be interacting with them."

"I know, I know, but. I think this one's kind of different."

"How?"

"I don't know," Josh shrugged. He bit his lip, "I think he's planning to kill himself."

Tom raised an eyebrow, "Oh shit. Well, it's not our responsibility to save him or anything. He can do what he wants."

Something about that sentence didn't sit well with Josh.

So he looked back up to the surface and began to swim up, "I'll see you later, Tom."

"Be careful up there, Josh!"

Josh pretended not to hear him as he swam back up, taking his normal position right beneath where the boy sat.

He had stopped strumming in the few minutes Josh was gone, and he tucked his feet under his thighs, and the small instrument sat on the wood beside him.

Josh slowly, but surely moved out from under the wood so that he could get a better view of the boy he had been watching. He got far enough out to the side that he could make out his profile. And from here - wow, Josh could see that he looked very, very young. Far too young to be contimplating life by the sulfur and the sea. He couldn't have been any older than Josh himself, and for some reason, he began to feel a bit self-conscious.

The boy had a small, uncomfortable-looking device in his ear, and there was a scar across that ear that looked very similar to the scar he had up his leg. 

And Josh didn't know what he expected, but he did not expect the boy to be quite so handsome. His hair was short, but wavy, and his eyes were lovely, but focused on the scenery ahead of him. The sun was setting, and it was going to get cold soon. 

It was a good several minutes before the boy turned his head. But he did not turn it towards Josh. He turned it in the direction of the cliff that he had spoken of before. He looked back down at the water, at the empty space where fish used to be, and then he grabbed his small instrument and stood up. 

Josh avoided his gaze as much as possible, as the boy did not walk in the direction of his home, but the direction of the cliff. 

Josh's heart skipped a beat. He should've said something. He should've called out. 

_"It's not our responsibility to save him or anything."_

The words rang in Josh's ear, and they almost put a bitter taste in his mouth they were so foul. His hair was now a disputable mix between black and green (between concern and fear), as the boy dissapeared behind to cliff for a few minutes, only to reappear at the top.

Josh bit his lip. He watched the boy stand there for a few minutes - looking up at the clouds, then down at the water, then he itched his wrists. 

He paused and looked at the intrument in his hands. He said something to himself, and then tossed it into ocean. 

Josh's heart sank.

The boy watched as his instrument hit the water, making a small, insignificant splash.

Josh watched as the boy hit the water, making a bigger, but still minorly impactive splash. The second the boy hit the water, Josh swam as fast as he could towards the now still body.

He took the boy in his arms and almost cringed at how easily his bones moved with the movement of the water. It was just so unnatural, but quite poetic if you thought about it.

Josh swam to a hidden, more desolate part of the shore and laid the boy down. 

And he had no idea where to go from here. 

There was a boy - a human boy - laying still on the edge of a beach, his lips were slowly becoming more and more blue, and Josh knew time was running out. 

He would know exactly what to do had it been a fellow mermaid. Get plently of water into the gills - not so much that it disrupted their breathing, but just enough to get everything circulating again.

Except humans didn't have gills. Did they? No, of course they didn't. They had... lungs? Yes, hunans had lungs. They needed air.

Josh searched around the boy's body, looking for his lungs. He couldn't see them, but he knew he needed to hurry because not only could this boy's life be over in the blink of an eye, but Josh was starting to suffocate from all of the oxygen around him. 

Josh looked towards the human's chest. Those looked like lungs. 

With no idea of what else to do, Josh pushed hard on his chest.

Nothing.

He tried it again.

Nothing.

One more time.

Something. 

The boy's eyes opened wide and he sucked in multiple deep breaths at once, his arms flailing from side to side. He coughed loudly, some remaining bits of water shooting from his throat, and getting on Josh.

Josh grimaced and wiped his chest. 

When the boy caught site of Josh, he froze. His eyes scanned Josh's face, then his torso, then his tail.

His eyes went wider than Josh had ever seen eyes go before, and before he knew it, the human passed out again.

Josh went back into the water and took a deep breath before dragging himself back onto shore, right next to the boy. 

And this was the closest Josh had ever been to a human he didn't intend to kill. The boy's chest was moving up and down steadily, and the moon was starting to rise above the surface of the earth. 

When Josh looked closely to the boy's body, he realized that it wasn't all that different from his own body. Everything above the waist was almost identical, actually.

He vaguely wondered if it were possible for a mermaid to make the transition from a creature of the sea, to a creature of the land.

He decided not to focus on that, though.

Instead, he got back into the ocean. The land was no place for someone like him, and it was getting harder and harder to breathe by the second. 

He placed himself in a spot where he could still watch the boy, but he could still be submerged enough in water to be comfortable. It was only about an hour that he waited. 

Then suddenly the boy was blinking himself awake, but this time he was much more calm than the time before. 

He propped himself up on his elbows, and looked up at the cliff, then down at the water, and then to the left and the right. 

When he made eye contact with Josh, he froze again. 

Josh slowly swam forward, his hair was bright yellow with caution. He stopped when we was about five feet from the boy.

"Hi," The boy greeted. 

"Hi," Josh said back. 

There was silence. Neither one of them knew just what to say.

"You're a..." The boy swallowed, "You're a mermaid?"

Josh nodded, before correcting, "Merman, actually. But yeah."

The boy craned his neck to look up at the cliff, and then he looked at Josh.

"What happened?" He asked. 

"You don't remember what you did?"

"No, I remember, I just... Why am I... alive?" The boy looked genuinely confused, and it hurt Josh's heart a bit. 

"Well, I. I brought you over here when you jumped from the cliff. And then I pushed the water out of your lungs, so you could breathe."

The boy blinked at him. 

"But _why_? You don't know me."

Josh scoffed, "That doesn't mean I wanted you to die."

And then neither of them said anything for about a minute, so Josh spoke up.

"I know that sometimes you sit on the edge of the dock over there," He pointed to the left, "And play music to the fish."

The boy's face heated up a bit, "Oh. I didn't know anyone else was there."

He paused. 

"I'm Josh, by the way."

The boy nodded, "Tyler."

Josh stayed still in the water. He looked around the small area that they were occupying, and realized that Tyler's instrument was nowhere to be seen. He looked behind himself. It was dark, so it would be hard to find it, but Josh dove back into the water nonetheless, without leaving the boy - _Tyler_ \- an explanation. 

He was gone no more than five minutes. The instrument hadn't floated very far, and Josh swam back as fast as he could.

"Here," He said, popping up from the water and starling Tyler from his thoughts. 

"Oh," He said, taking the wet, now broken instrument into his hands, "Thanks."

Josh nodded.

"What is it?" 

Tyler looked up at him, "What? What is this?" He asked, pointing to the item.

Josh nodded again.

Tyler paused before responding, "It's a ukulele." 

When Josh looked at him with a blank expression, the boy expanded on the point.

"A ukulele," He repeated, "Like a small guitar, kinda."

Josh nodded slowly - he tried to recall if he had ever seen a guitar before. He might've. If he had, it was locked away somewhere in the recesses of his mind.

"Can you still play it?" Josh asked.

Tyler looked down. A few of the string were broken, and there was a large crack down the back of it. He shook his head, and shifted his feet so that they were tucked under his thighs.

"Are you gonna get a new one?"

Tyler shrugged. 

Every time Josh had listened to Tyler talk, and sing underneath the wood was being brought to the forefront of Josh's mind. He remembered the boy constantly chatting with the fish, singing them depressing tunes, and he even remembered one time when the boy brought bread crumbs to feed the fish.

That boy seemed happy.

This boy sitting in front of Josh, did not.

But now that he thought about it, it made sense. The lyrics he sang, the empty looks he gave the water, the hidden meaning of his words - it all came together. 

"I should get back to my house," Tyler said suddenly. He went to stand up, but then cried out in pain, and collapsed back down. He gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut, burying his face in his hands.

"What's wrong?" Josh asked. 

It took Tyler a few seconds, but he took a deep breath and revealed his face once again.

"My foot," He groaned, lightly caressing the scar on the inside of his ankle. 

Josh moved the tiniest bit closer, to get a look at the scar up close. And it was even uglier than he remembered it being. It was now bright red and probably pulsating if you were to touch it (which Josh didn't), and every time Tyler's fingers pressed to hard on it, he'd suck in a sharp breath.

"Crap," Tyler groaned, "I think I fractured it." 

When Josh said nothing, Tyler went on, and Josh was beginning to think he just liked talking to himself.

"I'm not even supposed to be too active on this foot."

Josh pursed his lips.

"I can swim you back to the docks, if you'd like? And then you can get help from someone there."

Tyler looked back up at him, and thought for a moment.

"You've already done so much. I don't want to overwhelm you."

"Don't worry about, it, really. Here," Josh turned to that his back was facing Tyler, "Grab onto my shoulders. I'll swim slowly, don't worry."

Tyler bit his lip, but figured he was at a loss otherwise. So he crawled closer to Josh, and wrapped his arms around the man's neck. He was extremely warm, despite the freezing cold water, Tyler tried his best not to find it comforting. 

He wrappes his legs around Josh's torso, and the merman kept his word - he swam slowly and carefully, desperately trying to not let anything come into contact with the poor boy's foot. 

He swam to the part where Tyler's dock began, and dropped him off right on the sand.

"How are you going to get back up to your house?" Josh asked, looking up at the home that stood tall, overlooking the ocean.

Tyler sighed, "I'll find a way." He got up using only foot, and limped/hopped his way up the steps.

"Tyler!" Josh called.

The boy turned around and he was too far for Josh to be able to see his expression.

"Will I see you again?" He asked.

Tyler didn't reply for a long few seconds, and Josh began to wonder if he could even hear him at all.

"Maybe," He called back.

And he disappeared into his home, the lights not even flickering on.


	2. Chapter 2

It was awhile, but Tyler did end up coming back down the the dock. He did not have an instrument, though, and he had a thick wrap around his ankle. The second Josh recognized those feet danging off the edge, he swam up to the surface, and Tyler looked down at him.

"Hello again," Josh greeted. 

"Hi."

"How's your ankle?"

Tyler shrugged, "It's alright. Still hurts."

The red in Josh's hair faded, as it began to turn yellow, feeding on his emotion.

Tyler looked at him with wide eyes, "Wh - did your hair just change color?

Josh nodded, but then thought back to what he heard Tyler say one day when he was singing to the fish.

"I thought you knew all about us sea creatures?"

Tyler looked confused.

"One day, you were sitting there, and you said that your friend told you all about sea creatures. Mermen specifially."

Tyler's mouth formed a small 'o' as he remembered. His neck began to get red again, and Josh wondered if his skin could turn any other colors. 

"Yeah, um. I have a friend. Jesse. He knows all about... you guys. He taught me about sirens, and color breeds," His eyes flicked up at Josh, and then back down to his feet that were not swaying, "But he tends to keep silent when I ask him deeper questions. Not sure why."

Josh nodded along, "Well, I can answer any questions you have. If you want."

Tyler simply blinked at Josh for a second, a look of incredulity on his face. 

Then he shook his head, "I can't remember any right now. But, if I think of one, I guess I know who to come to." He chuckled, and there were tints of blue (tints of comfort) in Josh's hair. 

While Tyler was looking down at his hands, Josh took the opprotunity to study the boy's features. He was quite small, but there was also a sturdiness in his bones that conveyed a confidence that Josh didn't think was intentional. Overall, he was rather attractive. 

And then Josh looked at his feet. He was barefoot again, and Josh wondered if that was really a good idea. 

Suddenly, he looked up, and Tyler was already looking at him.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Tyler looked back down at the water, "Depends."

Josh swallowed, and then changed his question, "What's it like having feet?"

Tyler chuckled again, a genuine smile growing on his face, "What kind of question is that?"

Josh copied the boy's smile, and shrugged the blue in his hair slowly becoming more profound. 

"That would be like if I asked you, what's it like having a tail."

"Simple," Josh replied, "I'd say it's... steady."

Tyler raised an eyebrow, "Having a tail is steady?"

"Yup."

"Well, so are feet."

"Not really. You guys trip and fall all the time."

"Well you guys get your tails caught in stuff."

"Still. Tails are steadier."

Although neither of them wanted to back down from their argument, they were smiling and rolling their eyes fondly at each other. Josh liked this. He didn't ever think he would have a friendly conversation with a human before, but here he was, looking up at a young boy that sat on the end of a dock, and listening to his laugh. 

It was odd, and felt sacreligious in a way. But that didn't stop Josh from asking more questions. 

And before he knew it, the sun was setting.

Tyler looked over the horizon.

"I gotta bail. I have work tomorrow."

Josh frowned, "When will you be back?"

He shrugged, "Will you be here tomorrow night?"

Josh wasn't sure, but he still nodded. 

"Then I'll be back tomorrow night."

Josh smiled and waves goodbye, wathing the boy limp up to his house.

The lavender in Josh's hair was foreign, and the few mermaids that bumped into him on his way back home, simply stared. No one asked.

Josh fell asleep and had lavender dreams.

....

The human kept his word. He was there the next night, and so was Josh. Even though there was no one else around, they spoke quietly, and it was on this night that the blue overpowered the yellow in Josh's hair.

"You're really blue tonight," Tyler pointed out.

Josh looked away. 

"What does blue mean?"

"Nothing."

"C'mon, just tell me."

"No."

"Are you sad?"

"No."

"Then why are you blue?"

Josh huffed out a sigh. He didn't want Tyler to know what the colors meant. His entire life he was surrounded by people who knew the ins and outs of each color, and he couldn't hide any emotion from anyone. Now that he had a friend(?) who wasn't familiar with the color scheme, the change if color was unimportant. Because either way, Tyler didn't know what they represented. 

"Guess you'll never know," Josh replied, a smirk on his face. 

Tyler rolled his eyes fondly, then propped his chin on his elbow, watching Josh with careful eyes and a careful smile. 

Josh's eyes flicked up to Tyler's house behind the dock. He vaguely recalled the fact that he almost never saw the lights on.

"Do you live alone?" He asked suddenly. 

And Tyler's expression went cold as stone. His smile was gone in an instant, and his ankle twictched where it was hovering above the water. 

"Yes," He replied, simply. 

Josh wondered if he could push futher. He decided to risk it. 

"You don't... have a family or anything?"

Tyler picked at a piece of loose wood on the dock.

"A lot of people don't have families, Josh. It's normal."

His tone was sharp, but those last words sounded different than the rest of the sentence. 

_"It's normal."_

It was almost as if Tyler was trying to convince himself that it was normal, more than he was trying to convince Josh. 

Nevertheless, Josh knew he had prodded enough for the night. Had he gone any further, the boy might just snap.

"Are you getting yourself a new ukulele?" Josh asked, trying to lighten up the conversation he had accidentally brought down. 

Tyler nodded, still picking at the wood, "I ordered one online. It should be here by tomorrow, I think."

Josh raised an eyebrow, "Online? What's that?"

Tyler's head shot up, and he looked at Josh for a second before laughing, "Oh, that's right! You guys don't have the internet down in the sea, do you?"

Josh shook his head, "Not to my knowledge."

Tyler laughed again, "Well, it's basically, like... if you need to know information about something. Or someone. You can, um, look it up? Or, like, you can get the internet to give you information about pretty much anything."

Josh nodded slowly. He still didn't fully comprehend how one source could be the answer to so many questions, but he figured that wasn't the only thing he would never understand about human-kind.

Tyler yawned, "I should be getting back to my house. I'll see you tomorrow night, though, right?"

"Right," Josh replied, a small smile on his face. 

As always, Josh watched him walk all the way up to his house before he swam back down into the water. 

"Josh!" Someone called as he was about to enter his home. 

And he knew who it was before he even turned around.

"Hey, Tom," He greeted. 

"I saw you at the surface again today. But I didn't get a chance to say hi. Are you still messing around with that human boy?"

Josh rolled his eyes, "I'm not messing around with anyone. I just... We're just talking."

He shook his head, "You shouldn't mess with humans. They're dangerous."

"I'm going to bed, Tom."

"Stay safe, Josh."

That night, Josh's dreams were not lavender, but blue. 

....

One night, Josh brought up the subject of the cliff. He tried to ask Tyler why he had jumped off, but the boy immediately changed the subject. Josh steered it back. Tyler still didn't answer the question.

Josh left it alone, but that didn't change the fact that it still bothered him to no end.

....

There was one night that Tyler was busy, so we wasn't able to see Josh. On that night, Josh tried to make himself busy, too. 

Tom had invited him over for dinner, because they haven't caught up in so long, and he really missed talking to the man. Josh wanted to decline, but he knew he didn't have a good excuse not to go, so he went. 

Tom's wife greeted him, and two small children swam around the large home, while dinner was prepared. Josh and Tom sat on a couch, talking mostly about old times. 

"Remember that one kid that we went to school with? James?" Tom asked him out of the blue. 

Josh thought for a moment, "I think so. The one everyone hated, right?"

"Yeah."

"What about him?"

"Well, apparently he's a human now."

Josh reeled his head back in shock, and shot Tom an incredulous look. 

"What do you mean he's human now?"

"You've never heard the rumors? They say that if a merman lays himself on land for long enough, everything that makes him a mermaid dies, and he becomes human," Tom said, looking him straight in the face. There was no joke written anywhere in his expression.

"Are you serious?" Josh asked, still skeptical.

Tom nodded, "Completely, 100% serious. Apparently he even gave himself a new name. Jesse or something. I don't know."

_"I have a friend. Jesse. He knows all about... you guys."_

Josh swallowed. This couldn't be real. There was no way. It was just a coincidence. 

"I've heard it hurts like hell. Sometimes people end up, like, really disfigured and gross-lookin'. Apparently James got away with a pretty good body, though." Tom said, snapping Josh from his thoughts. 

Josh stared at his tail and just for a second, he tried to imagine what it would be like to have legs there. 

And when he got the chance to talk to Tyler the next day, he immediately brought the subject up.

"Tell me more about your friend Jesse," He said, putting his elbows on the dock, and leaning his head against his arms.

Tyler was sitting criss-cross that day, and his face was very close to Josh's.

"Why?" He asked.

"I just want to know what else he knows about mermen."

Tyler shrugged, "Not sure. He gets all butthurt when I try to ask him anything about it."

Josh was silent, and turned his head to the side so that he was facing the rest of the ocean.

"Why are you asking, though?"

Josh sighed. 

"Someone told me that there's this... thing that you can do. Like, if I wanted to become human."

Tyler kept his gaze steady, "Oh?"

"Yeah."

The boy began to pick at a loose peice of wood again, "Well... would you want to become human?"

Josh sighed again and looked up at Tyler who did not make eye contact with him.

"I wouldn't know the first thing to do if I was a human."

Then Tyler looked up at him, "I could help you. You could stay at my place with me. The house was left to me after," He paused, and Josh could see him mentally rearranging his words, "It's an inheritance, so it's pretty big. Especially since I'm the only one there."

Josh did not say anything. He looked Tyler in the eyes until the boy shifted his position and looked back down.

"I'll put some thought into it," He said, leaning back off of the dock.

"See you tomorrow, Josh."

"Till tomorrow, Tyler."

And the entire night Josh thought of nothing else than legs. 

....

"So I spoke to my friend Jesse," Tyler said one day, lightly strumming the new ukulele in his hands. It looked identical to the one he had before - if anything, the new one appeared to be of higher quality. 

"About what?" Josh asked, watching Tyler's feet sway again.

"About you. He didn't tell me much, but after he left the room his husband told me more. Apparently he used to be a merman. You were right. You could become human if you wanted to."

Josh looked intently into Tyler's eyes, but he was focused on playing different notes. The song sounded familiar, and Josh thought back to the night that Tyler threw himself off of the cliff. 

"It sounds so scary, though," Josh confessed. He had his arms crossed on the dock again, and he rested his cheek down, his head facing the side. 

A soft hand was placed on his elbow, and he looked up at Tyler.

"I'd be here for you. The whole time." 

And thise were the most sincere words Josh had ever heard from anyone's mouth. His hair became a soft lavender, and Tyler gave him a small smile, as if he knew exactly what Josh was thinking about. 

Josh looked down to the boy's lips, and not for the first time, he thought of what it would be like to kiss him. It was an innocent thought, really. He just wanted to know if humans would kiss differently. That was all.

But he looked back up at Tyler and nodded, "I'd like that."

Tyler's eyes flicked up to Josh's hair, then back down to his eyes, "Can I..." He bit his lip, "Can I touch your hair?"

Josh chuckled, but said yes, of course. 

Soft hands reached up and reached the top of the merman's head, fingers running through the hair. Josh let his eyes flutter close at the gentle touch. 

"It's really soft. Like, surprisingly soft. Wow."

Josh practically purred into the touch, leaning his head further into the hand, and Tyler's grip became tighter, as he itched at Josh's scalp, in the same way you would do to a cat. 

And Tyler watched in awe as his hair became dark purple right beneath his touch. He felt like his hand should've turned color, too, but it didn't. The second the color became apparent, though, Josh's eyes opened wide, and he took Tyler's hand from his hair. 

"What's wrong?" Tyler asked. 

Josh avoided eye contact at all costs, looking anywhere except for Tyler. 

"Um, nothing. I just remembered I'm late for an appointment."

"An appointment?"

"Yeah." Josh's eyes flicked towards Tyler for only a second, before he turned away again, "I'll see you tomorrow, Tyler."

"Wait, Jo-"

And he didn't let Tyler finish his sentence before he dove into the water, taking the long way home - he couldn't let anyone see him while he was dark purple and thinking of Tyler's hands in his hair. He had never felt dark purple towards a human before, and part of him was scared.

He went to bed early that night, desperately begging for any other color to take over.

....

Josh was scared. He was ready, yes, but he was also scared. 

He did not meet Tyler that night. He waited until the boy gave up and went home, and that was when Josh left his home under the ocean for what would be the last time. 

He swam slowly up the surface, taking deep breaths of the water. 

_"I've heard it hurts like hell."_

Josh steeled his gaze and went onto the surface, dragging his whole body fully onto the sand, and his tail felt heavy and useless on against the ground.

_"Sometimes people end up, like, really disfigured and gross-lookin'."_

Josh splayed his arms out, so that his entire body was susceptible to the moon's gaze. 

He said a silent prayer - he didn't know who he was praying to, but he hoped there was someone up there listening to him. 

After about a minute, Josh began to suffocate. There was no more water circulating around his respiratory system, and his hands started to shake. He wasn't ready. Oh God, he wasn't ready.

But he was very ready. It had been several minutes now, and his throat began to burn, and his chest followed shortly after, the muscles in his tail convulsing as every breath became more and more painful. His vision was blurry, his tail was on fire, and somebody had taped over his gills - he was dying. He knew it, he was dying. He wouldn't make it out alive. 

Josh squeezed his eyes tight, and before he knew it, the pain took over his body, and he passed out. 

The feeling of nothingness surpassed any feeling of pain.


	3. Chapter 3

Josh didn't know how many days had passed before he woke up. He felt dizzy, his whole body burned with a low heat, and wherever he was laying down, it did not feel like sand. 

It was more comfortable than anything he had ever layed down on before. 

He blinked his eyes open, and looked down. His head had been resting on a pillow. 

A pillow?

He was on a bed. 

He had seen beds in his life, but never actually laid a human-designed one. They were comfortable. Very comfortable, actually. Especially considering Josh wasn't used to human amenities. But why should he be? He was a merman after all.

He took a deep breath, and his eyes went wide. He wasn't breathing water, but he wasn't suffocating, either. 

Josh slowly looked down. The lower half of his body was covered with a blanket. 

He swallowed thickly before removing the blanket.

And then his lungs went still.

There was no tail.

Only a pair of legs, and a dick that went right down the middle. He thought back to when he had laid himself on the sand, and his muscles began to convulse. He remembered the intense burning he felt, and he remembered thinking that he wouldn't make it to see the next day.

Josh's head snapped towards the door when the handle clicked.

He put the blanket back over himself, all the way up to his shoulders, and backed himself up so that his back was against the headrest. 

"Oh. You're awake," Tyler said upon entering the room, setting a basket of laundry down on the floor. 

"How long have I been asleep?" Josh asked.

"Not too long. Just over a day."

Josh nodded and looked down, trying to wrap his head around everything. 

"You were just laying on the beach, so I brought you up to my house," Tyler said, shrugging, "I hope that's okay."

"Of course it's okay. And thank you, by the way."

Tyler nodded, then picked the laundry basket from the floor, and placed on a chair in the corner of the room.

"Are you hungry? Or thirsty?"

Josh thought for a moment. Now that Tyler mentioned it, his mouth was dry, and his stomach felt rather empty. He could definitely use some substance. 

So he nodded. 

Tyler said okay, and then rummaged through the laundry, picking out a large T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. 

"Here," He said, handing them to Josh, "I'm a bit smaller than you, so I don't have your size, but I think they'll do for now."

Josh nodded and put the clothes on after Tyler left to give him privacy. 

He brought his legs from on top of the bed and swung them around, his feet landing on the floor. 

He took a deep breath and stood up, and then collapsed, knocking his head into Tyler's nightstand. He groaned, rubbing at the top of his head.

Tyler swung the door open and looked directly at Josh, who had not gotten up from the floor yet. And Tyler had to bite back a laugh.

"Are you okay?" He asked instead.

Josh pouted, "No. I tried to start walking, but apparently it's a bit harder than it looks."

Tyler chuckled and walked over, holding his hand out in front of Josh. 

"Here," He said, "I'll help you."

Josh grabbed his hand, and Tyler tugged him upwards, except this time he tumbled forwards and landed on top of Tyler, on the bed. 

While Josh pouted even more, Tyler simply laughed, his cheeks turning a pretty shade of red. Josh couldn't help but chuckle a bit as well, because the other boy's laugh was just so contagious. 

"Just brace your knees the next time you get up," Tyler said, a giggle still present beneath his voice. 

Josh nodded and pushed himself up from Tyler's chest, bracing his knees, and finally standing upright. He wobbled, but Tyler grabbed onto his elbow, helping him keep still.

Josh took a deep breath, "Thank you."

"Of course."

They looked at each other for a long second, and neither one of them seemed to blink. And Josh had never been _this_ close to Tyler before. He had been close, but this was new. He could see and probably mentally measure the length of Tyler's eyelashes, and he had never noticed the tiny little freckles around his nose before. 

He was really, really pretty.

Josh's heart skipped a beat, but he did not feel lavender coursing through his veins like he usually did. 

 _Right,_ he reminded himself, _humans don't change color._

So he swallowed. 

"What do you want to do?" Tyler asked, his voice quiet. 

Josh shrugged, "Teach me about you. Your kind."

Tyler chuckled, "You say that as if you're some sort of alien or something."

"Well, I wasn't human the last time I fell asleep, so."

Tyler shook his head fondly and guided Josh to the kitchen. 

They ate, they talked, and Josh asked very politely where he was supposed to use the bathroom. Tyler found his lack of general knowledge entertaining, but he also helped him out with everything he could and answered every question he had. 

And Josh was so excited that he got to see a side of Tyler that he never quite had the chance to see when they would just talk by the ocean. When Tyler sat at his computer to show Josh was the internet looked like, he rolled up the sleeves on his sweater. 

Josh did not ask what the deep, organized scars lining his wrist were. But when Tyler caught him staring, he subtly rolled the sleeve back down to his wrist, and his neck turned bright red as if he had forgotten they were there. 

Josh turned his attention back to the screen, and asked Tyler what Google meant. 

When the sun fell was when Josh had the most questions.

"I never actually thought I'd have a guest staying at my house, so I don't have an extra bed but you can sleep in mine. I'll take the couch," Tyler said, as Josh sat on the edge of the bed, exhausted from all of the walking. 

Josh's heart dropped a tiny bit, "Oh. Okay." 

Tyler paused in the doorway, "Unless you'd like me to stay?"

Josh bit his lip and looked down at his feet. 

Tyler moved from the doorway and sat down next to Josh, his hand right next to the other boy's.

"I'll stay if you want me to."

Josh looked up a him, and there was a look in Tyler's eyes that Josh could only associate with how his heart felt at the moment. 

"Can you stay, please?" He asked.

Tyler nodded, but he didn't move from the space right beside Josh. 

And Josh thought of the cliff. He thought of the cliff and he thought of Tyler's wrist. 

He so desperately wanted to know what was going on in Tyler's brain and in his life, but he also knew he had little chance of receiving an actual answer before Tyler changed the subject altogether. 

So instead of asking it aloud, Josh put the question in his expression and then looked Tyler in the eye. 

"What?" He asked quietly. 

Josh took a deep breath.

"I've never seen these scars on another human before," He said, moving his hand so that it caressed the inside of Tyler's wrist, even though he still had his sweater pulled all the way down.

Tyler just shrugged, "Not all people are the same."

"But... why you? Why aren't you happy?"

Tyler sighed deeply, but never broke eye contact with Josh. He reached up with one hand and moved some fringe from out of Josh's face. 

"I am happy," He said. But it was a lie. There was no happiness in his tone, and there was no happiness in his face. 

Josh took Tyler hand and held it tightly in his own. 

"I'm here for you."

Tyler bit his lip, and he turned his eyes downwards. He took a shaky breath and removed his hand from Josh's.

"I know. Thank you."

They both just sat there for a second, neither of them saying anything. Tyler got up without a word and put himself on the opposite side of the bed, flicking the lights off and tucking himself in. Josh did the same thing, and he laid facing Tyler's back. 

There wasn't much Josh could do besides hope that Tyler knew his intentions were good. He could say it, he could show it, but it was really up to Tyler as to weather or not he would believe. 

And Josh wanted him to believe. 

So he scooted closer and wrapped his arm around Tyler's waist, pulling him close. Tyler froze for a second, but then his whole body relaxed as he exhaled. 

Josh raised his head slightly to look at the boy's face and make sure he was okay.

He was not okay.

His eyebrows were closely knitted together, and he was biting his shaking lips as a tear fell down his cheek. 

Josh put his head back on the pillow and held Tyler even tighter. 

"It's okay," He whispered, "It's going to be okay."

Tyler's chest heaved as more tears fell.

Josh could not be sure of exactly why Tyler was crying, but he wanted to respect his privacy. So he stroked his hand gently up and down Tyler's chest, until his breathing became more normal. 

It took awhile, but Josh didn't mind. 

They finally fell asleep together, safe, and without any more tears.

....

Josh became afraid of the human anatomy one night. He woke up in the middle of the night, a throbbing sensation inbetween his legs.

He looked down at where his pants were tented in the middle.

He immediately raised himself from the bed, a cold sweat beginning to form at his temple. He looked to the right, a Tyler who was still sleeping soundly. He shook the boy's arm until he stirred awake.

He looked towards Josh and blinked hard a few times.

"Hey," He said, his voice groggy, "What's up?"

"Tyler, my - it's up. It feels weird."

"What? What're you talking about?"

Josh ripped the blanket off of his lower half and gestured to his crotch.

"Look! Is this normal?!"

Tyler blinked a few more times and then turned the bedside light on. He scratched his head and looked at Josh's face, then Josh's crotch.

And then he began to laugh hysterically.

"What?" Josh asked, the base of his neck turning red.

Tyler put a hand over his chest, and calmed his laughter, wiping a tear from his eye. 

"Um... yeah. Yeah, that's normal. Don't worry."

Josh was still confused, "Well, how do I get it to go away?"

Tyler was not laughing anymore. He cleared his throat.

"Do you..." He bit his lip, "Do you want me to show you?"

Josh nodded. Tyler took the blanket from over himself, and the climbed so that he was straddling Josh's lap. 

Josh leaned back, his palms flat on the bed. He watched Tyler's movement with careful eyes.

"So, um," Tyler said, looking straight down at Josh's length, "First, you-" He stopped, his hand halfway to Josh's middle.

"Is this okay? If I touch you here?" He asked.

Josh nodded.

"Okay. So," He pulled Josh's sweatpants down so that his cock was fully exposed. Tyler cursed underneath his breath, and wrapped his hand around Josh's length, his own length twitching when Josh sucked in a breath.

"You take it, and you kinda just start jerking it," He demonstated, moving his hand up and down at a relatively slow pace.

Josh involuntarily bucked his hips up, and his entire face went red as he stared at Tyler. But Tyler simply kept his gaze locked as he started pumping faster and faster, and Josh reveled in the dark purple he felt flowing through his veins.

Josh threw his head back and squeezed his eyes shut, letting out a moan. Tyler pushed at his chest so that he was laying down, and Tyler was hovering over him, still jacking him off even faster now.

And then he paused.

Josh looked up immediately.

"I want to watch you do it now," Tyler said, getting even closer so that their breaths mingled together.

Josh didn't skip a beat, and he wrapped a hand around himself, doing the same thing he felt Tyler doing. He arched his back into the bed and sighed deeply as a knot began to form in the lower part of his stomach. 

Tyler put his hand down his own sweats, and began to pump himself, too. Their groans and moans came together rather nicely, and Tyler got even closer to Josh so that their lips were hardly touching.

"C-can I kiss you?" He asked.

Josh didn't respond, only used his other hand to grab the back of Tyler's head, bringing him down and crashing their lips together.

Tyler's lips were warm, they were soft, and they were everything he thought they'd be. Their tongues joined in soon after, and from there, Josh didn't last long. He moaned Tyler's name on final time, and with just a few more pumps, the knot in his gut was becoming untied.

Tyler followed shortly after, rocking his hips to work himself through his orgasm.

He collapsed onto the spot of the bed right next to Josh, and there was a long moment where both of them sat there and stared at the ceiling. 

Josh put his face in his hands and sighed, drawing Tyler's attention.

"That was _really good_ ," He said under his breath.

Tyler smirked, "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Tyler moved himself so that he was halfway leaning over Josh, one of his legs inbetween both of Josh's.

"There's even more that I can show you," He whispered.

"Really?" Josh asked, looking up at Tyler with a serious expression.

Tyler nodded and began to trace a pattern on Josh's chest. He didn't know for sure what the boy was tracing, but it felt like a heart.

Josh placed his hand on the side of Tyler's face, drawing his attention back up to his eyes. He then brought Tyler down until their lips met, and he kissed him softly. Softly amd sweetly.

Tyler pulled away after about a minute.

"We should get back to bed. We have a lot to do tomorrow," He said, reaching into his nightstand and wiping the white streaks from Josh's torso with a wet cloth. 

Josh agreed, snuggling up right behind Tyler in their usual position.

He felt safe, relaxed, and just _so good_. He took a deep breath and kissed the back of Tyler's neck, letting the peace in his veins lull him to sleep. 

....

The next day was better than the rest. Tyler and Josh talked and laughed, they watched Tyler's favorite TV shows, he made them a dinner that they both loved and they sat together with a blanket around the both of them, as Tyler took his laptop and introduced Josh to YouTube. 

Their faces were very close at several points. Josh wanted to kiss him again more than anything, but he waited. He didn't know exactly why, but he waited.

It was when the sun set that things seemed to chance.

Tyler got a bit quiet. It almost wasn't noticeable.

Josh gently placed his hand on Tyler's forearm, "Are you okay?"

He nodded, "I'm fine. I think I just need to sleep."

"Okay," Josh said, getting up from the couch. He took the laptop from Tyler's lap and placed it on the coffee table, shutting it down the way Tyler had showed him before.

Tyler stood up, the blanket wrapped around his entire body, covering up to his neck, as he silently walked to the bedroom. Josh followed him, close behind. 

They took their usual positions, and Josh held him a little bit closer. He always held the boy as closely as possible when he wasn't feeling well. 

They were both silent, and Josh's eyes began to flutter close. 

"Y'know, there's a reason I'm up here alone."

Josh's eyes shot open.

"Huh?"

There was a short silence, and Josh wondered if he meant to say anything at all.

"I lost my whole family. All at once."

Josh didn't say anything. 

"It was all my fault, Josh. It was my fault."

Josh raised himself up from the pillow and looked at Tyler's expression. He was staring at the wall, his eyes devoid of any emotion - and that was what sent a chill down Josh's spine. 

"What do you mean?" Josh asked. 

Tyler bit his lip, "I - I was driving the car. My entire family was in there. And I just wasn't looking, I wasn't paying attention and we-" Tears began to fall from his eyes, "A drunk driver hit us head on. But I didn't see him, I just - Josh, he came out of nowhere-"

Josh stroked the side of Tyler's cheek, watching the boy break down and become nothing more than a mess of tears and broken sentences. 

"Tyler," Josh whispered. 

He turned to look up at Josh, and Josh didn't think he had ever seen so much pain in one expression. 

"That's not your fault. You weren't the one who was drunk."

Tyler straightened up, sitting criss-cross on the bed, "Josh, _I was driving_. I should've noticed, and I should've swerved out of the way." Tyler was full-on balling now, little hiccups coming inbetween his sentences. 

Josh wrapped his arms around him, holding him close to his chest, and letting the boy let everything out. 

"All I got was some bones in my legs replaced. Everyone else died."

Josh's heart hurt so bad, but suddenly everything made sense. The guilt of his "crime" was like acid, eating away his insides and all he could do was sit there in pain, because there was no medication for a guilty conscious. 

Josh held him close, and even shed a few tears with him. 

"I'm so sorry," He finally replied. 

Tyler shook his head, and cried until his lungs were burning and his eyes were dry.

Josh layed him gently on the bed and kissed his forehead. He prayed to a higher power that Tyler would be able to sleep peacefully.

....

The next time Josh saw the scars on Tyler's wrist, and he noticed newer, fresher ones, he did not say anything. There wasn't a sentence in the world that could express what Josh truly thought.

....

One night, Josh was scared for Tyler. 

"Sometimes I wish I would've died with them."

And the scene of the cliff was burned into Josh's mind with a whole new meaning.

....

Tyler couldn't stay with Josh in the house everyday, and Josh didn't feel he was ready to meet any more humans just yet. The hatred he had felt such a long time ago still burned like a small ember in his heart, and he was afraid it would only become more intense upon meeting new people.

So when Tyler went grocery shopping, Josh stayed back.

When Tyler went to work, he left a note on the nightstand, letting Josh know when he'd be back. 

Josh was getting a bit stir crazy, but he knew he only brought it on himself, so he was okay with it. 

There was one time, though, that Tyler had gone grocery shopping, and Josh was cold. Far colder than usual. The temperature outside was freezing, rain pounded against the windows, and the wind would shove tree branches against the house, making a scratching sound. 

So Josh rooted around the house, looking for extra jackets and blankets. 

He opened a walk-in closet that was halfway between Tyler's room and the living room, and he walked in, spotting a fluffy blanket on one of the highest shelves. 

He reached up and yanked it down, and a book that had been sat atop the blanket came down as well, knocking Josh right in the temple. 

He frowned and rubbed at his scalp, picking the large book from the floor. 

There were no words on the cover, only a picture. A picture of a young girl, three young boys, and two adults. They looked happy, and the sun was shining in the picture. 

Josh opened it, and the first few pages were blank, until he reached a picture that was similar to the one on the front. Except this time, they were all making silly faces, and doing weird poses. 

Josh cracked a smile. 

He flipped the pages again and - hey, that looked like Tyler. 

Oh. It was Tyler. 

He took the picture from it's slot and flipped it around, looking at the back.

_Ty, Dec. 1, 2001_

The boy in the picture was about to blow out birthday candles. His grin was stretched all across his face, and his eyes were sparkling as he looked somewhere off camera. The boy in this picture looked so innocent and so pure. 

Josh cleared his throat. 

He kept flipping through the photos, and they all had the same feminine handwriting on the back, detailing the date. The pictures were all similar in the way that they all denoted happy kids, happy parents, and happy friends. 

When he got to the middle of the book, the pictures stopped appearing. The last picture was of Tyler with one arm around his brother, and another arm around his sister. He had shorts on, and there was no scar running up his leg. 

They were all smiling or mid-laugh, but Tyler was smiling so large, his eyes were almost completely shut. 

_T, Z, M - 2006_

And after that, the pages were all blank. 

Josh heard the front door open and close from where he still was in the hallway closet. 

He knew he should've closed the book and put it back. He had delve into a part of Tyler's personal life that he clearly wasn't completely ready to unveil himself. 

When Tyler made his way towards his room, he caught sight of Josh frozen still in the closet, the photobook in his hands. 

Tyler simply stood there, looking at Josh who looked up after a few seconds of keeping his gaze tilted downwards. 

"What're you doing?" Tyler asked, even though his face told that he already knew. 

"Sorry," He said, "I just... I went to put it back, but... Sorry."

Tyler looked at him for a long second. His eyes flicked down to the photobook and then back up at Josh.

"Put it back, please," He said, standing there for one more second before he dissapeared into his bedroom.

Josh swallowed hard and then put the photobook back on the shelf, just as Tyler had asked. He walked to over to the bedroom and knocked on the door. When no one answered, Josh opened the door slowly, to see Tyler sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands and his sleeves rolled up.

Josh sat down carefully, right next to Tyler. The boy didn't move. 

"Is everything okay?" Josh asked, in the special tone that he always used when addressing sensitive subjects with Tyler. 

He shook his head, "It's been rough."

And Josh knew he wasn't just talking about the day.

Nevertheless, he put an arm around Tyler, and the boy settled comfortably into his chest. And Josh took another deep breath.

"Y'know, I never properly thanked you for letting me stay here."

Tyler looked up, a look of confusion on his face. 

"You're a wonderful person, Tyler."

He immediately shook his head, "Stop. I'm not-"

"You are, though. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean I don't."

Tyler sighed deeply, and he looked Josh in the eyes, searching his expression for anything false. 

Josh took Tyler's hand that was attached to a defiled wrist, and kissed it, then held it tightly against his heart. Tyler opened his mouth to say something, but said nothing, closing his mouth right back up.

"Really, though. Thank you for letting me stay here. I wish I could repay you," Josh said, letting his tone stay quiet. 

"You don't need to repay me anything, Josh. I like having you here."

Josh didn't respond. He lightly began to stroke his thumb back and forth across the inside of Tyler's wrist, stroking across a few of the scars there. 

"I want to help you, Tyler."

Tyler took a shaky breath, and leaned his head against Josh's shoulder. They sat like that for a few minutes, enjoying the silence between them, and the consistant beat of the rain from outside. 

And that was the first night in a very long time, that Tyler was not scared of what the night had to bring. He had a warm being by his side - one he knew would stay, and he was content. 

He was still torn, but in that moment, he felt whole again.

He was whole again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading. This didn't turn out exactly like I wanted it to, but here it is. Questions, comments, and concerns are always appreciated.  
> My Tumblr is ClinicallyForgotten
> 
> Stay Alive, frens
> 
> (title taken from _The Boy Who Could Fly_ by Pierce The Veil)


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